I’m struggling. In every way imaginable. Emotionally, physically, psychologically. And am screaming inside a body that I hate and despise. Like my own version of Humpty Dumpty who fell from the wall, with pieces so scattered and broken, that no one is able to fit them back together again.
I have an army, a true army, of my “Butterfly” warriors cheering me on and holding me up, yet I’m so engulfed in this evil darkness of despair and fear and loneliness that I can’t see anything beyond the entrapment of my own body.
And the only other time I’ve felt this lost was was I was suicidal shortly after the birth of my daughter, over 3 years ago. But there’s no time to find solace or rest. To find some way, any way to see any glimmer of that faraway light. Because in 2 days, I start my 1st round of chemotherapy. And there’s no extension to this process. There’s no more waiting. No matter this darkness that has become me, and wrapped itself so tightly around my heart, I must press onward. I must begin this battle. This fight. I must begin now.
So I’ll keep trying to do the things that I most love, the things that, I pray, will show me that glimmer of who I once was, before this tumor, and this cancer, and this last surgery broke me. I will bake, and blog, and read, and write. Even when my heart is bleeding.
Though right now, and expectedly with the start & duration of my chemotherapy, I’ve lost most of my ability to taste foods, such as chocolate, and cheese, and coffee, I’m still attempting to create dishes (very easy ones at that) that I can taste in a pleasant way. And fortunately, one of those dishes is one of my favorite breakfast casseroles. With the texture of egg bits, the sharpness of cheese, and the fragrance of glorious potatoes. Nothing healthy, I assure you. But right now, all about the feelings of home & comfort.
May you also find a little bit of comfort, and I pray, a whole lot of love, within this Mama’s Casserole.
3-4 large red potatoes, washed first, then diced before cooking
Half cup cold butter (for frying)
3/4 cup sharp cheddar cheese, cubed or shredded
6-8 large, organic eggs
3/4 cup uncooked, shredded broccoli florets
*1/2 cup fresh cut, yellow corn, optional
Firstly, prepare your ingredients correctly.
Dice up your uncooked red potatoes, into approximately 1-1/2 cups, before letting the diced pieces gently cook within a pot of salted (just a pinch) hot water, for about 12-15 minutes. Strain out the water from the mostly cooked potatoes and set aside to cool.
Cut up (or shred) a block of sharp cheddar cheese, into 1 inch cubes. Set aside.
Once the potatoes are cooled, spoon out 2 tablespoons of salted butter onto a frying pan, set at medium heat. Add in the potatoes, and let fry, while being stirred every couple minutes, until the potatoes are slightly fried and browning on their sides & edges. If you want a crispier fry to the potatoes, add in another 2 tablespoons of butter periodically to the pan.
Once you’re happy with the potatoes fried texture, add in the 3/4 cup of uncooked shredded broccoli. Stir together for a few minutes to combine. Remove your potato & broccoli mixture from the stovetop and set aside.
Now, the easy part. Take those 6-8 fresh eggs and generously scramble them up in a slightly buttered frying pan. Scramble, scramble away!
Spoon everything into a serving dish, throw on that cubed or shredded cheddar cheese, and serve! With the addition of some fresh, cut yellow corn, if desired! Just to appease that slightly healthier side of breakfast. Ha.
This recipe will feed anywhere from 4 to 6 breakfasters.